Firstly I challenge anyone to watch this video:
Between the trees - How she feels
…and visit twloha.com and read the story.
It is about time a group step up and start getting the message out there. May God bless their efforts.
I can not tell you how many times I have run into people that are unaware of cutting, and depression, or generally unaware of what anyone around them is going through.
I find it even more disturbing to realize how many people I have known that go through these types of problems while putting on a good front, raising their hands in worship, all the while going home to a very burnt out frustrating world all alone.
People in these situations will never get out on their own… I know, I have been there.
The worst place in the world for a person to be is to be going through depression, and expecting and praying those around them figure it out on their own, because they do not have the will or strength to tell them.
When the people around them do not step in to help, they turn to self mutilation or abuse, drinking, street drugs like meth or acid, sexual flings, or anything they can do to get their mind off their personal pain for a fleeting moment.
It takes love and compassion and insight of people around them to show them what they are worth, and what is beautiful and important about them. Sometimes, once does not cut it. A feel-good sermon does not cut it. Beating around the bush and pretending that it does not go on in the churches, with pastors kids, or with our close friends… does not cut it.
We start the change and stop the pain by opening our eyes, and looking closer at the fake smiles of those around us.
Firstly I challenge anyone to watch this video:
Between the trees - How she feels
…and visit twloha.com and read the story.
It is about time a group step up and start getting the message out there. May God bless their efforts.
I can not tell you how many times I have run into people that are unaware of cutting, and depression, or generally unaware of what anyone around them is going through.
I find it even more disturbing to realize how many people I have known that go through these types of problems while putting on a good front, raising their hands in worship, all the while going home to a very burnt out frustrating world all alone.
People in these situations will never get out on their own… I know, I have been there.
The worst place in the world for a person to be is to be going through depression, and expecting and praying those around them figure it out on their own, because they do not have the will or strength to tell them.
When the people around them do not step in to help, they turn to self mutilation or abuse, drinking, street drugs like meth or acid, sexual flings, or anything they can do to get their mind off their personal pain for a fleeting moment.
It takes love and compassion and insight of people around them to show them what they are worth, and what is beautiful and important about them. Sometimes, once does not cut it. A feel-good sermon does not cut it. Beating around the bush and pretending that it does not go on in the churches, with pastors kids, or with our close friends… does not cut it.
We start the change and stop the pain by opening our eyes, and looking closer at the fake smiles of those around us.
Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy?” ~ Proverbs 27:
One might say envy itself, is perhaps the most dangerous of all emotions, or sins.
The grass is always greener, and everyone we know always has something we want.
Envy will flare up and it always creeps up on us when we least expect it.
I wish I had his job.
I wish I looked like that person.
I wish I had her parents.
I wish I had a girl that actually cares about me like he has.
Why do they always get everything perfect, and why does everyone else always get whatever they want?
The bible does not seem very silent on this.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy” - 1 Corinthians 13:4
“Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’” - Hebrews 13:5
Perhaps one of the toughest things in life is to put aside the envies of those who have the things you perhaps never will, and to learn to be happy for them, instead of feeling sorry for yourself.
Lord help us all, that is a difficult challenge to meet at times.
Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy?” ~ Proverbs 27:
One might say envy itself, is perhaps the most dangerous of all emotions, or sins.
The grass is always greener, and everyone we know always has something we want.
Envy will flare up and it always creeps up on us when we least expect it.
I wish I had his job.
I wish I looked like that person.
I wish I had her parents.
I wish I had a girl that actually cares about me like he has.
Why do they always get everything perfect, and why does everyone else always get whatever they want?
The bible does not seem very silent on this.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy” - 1 Corinthians 13:4
“Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’” - Hebrews 13:5
Perhaps one of the toughest things in life is to put aside the envies of those who have the things you perhaps never will, and to learn to be happy for them, instead of feeling sorry for yourself.
Lord help us all, that is a difficult challenge to meet at times.
A garden full of nothing but beautiful roses.
All of them meticulously grown and cared for but yet all of them are different.
Red. White. Yellow. Even some new cross-pollinated ones like purple and orange.
A man of high social status enters that garden, and decides on a rose who’s beauty most appeals to him and purchases it. He goes on and tells everyone that only roses like the one he bought are of any value… and many will come to buy those types of roses thinking they are getting the best. The price may increase due to demand.
Another man enters into that garden, and after roaming around and looking at it all, decides on one rose that is appealing to him, his likes, his personality. He promptly spends what little he has and purchases that rose and is ultimately happy with his choice and the time he spent making it.
If one goes and makes a choice, based on it’s appeal to someone else, then he has been bitterly robbed. Denied of the best by letting someone else he respects decide beauty and value for him; Forever denied the satisfaction and art of a personal choice.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. No one decides if someone is beautiful, or worthy, or important… to you.
Everyone is beautiful and important to someone. Some people have a harder time finding that someone than others, but there is also art in patience.
The first mans rose, and the second mans rose will both wither and fade.
The first man will be confused, frustrated and bitter… having lost the precious popular beauty he sought.
The second man will relish the memory of his choice.
A garden full of nothing but beautiful roses.
All of them meticulously grown and cared for but yet all of them are different.
Red. White. Yellow. Even some new cross-pollinated ones like purple and orange.
A man of high social status enters that garden, and decides on a rose who’s beauty most appeals to him and purchases it. He goes on and tells everyone that only roses like the one he bought are of any value… and many will come to buy those types of roses thinking they are getting the best. The price may increase due to demand.
Another man enters into that garden, and after roaming around and looking at it all, decides on one rose that is appealing to him, his likes, his personality. He promptly spends what little he has and purchases that rose and is ultimately happy with his choice and the time he spent making it.
If one goes and makes a choice, based on it’s appeal to someone else, then he has been bitterly robbed. Denied of the best by letting someone else he respects decide beauty and value for him; Forever denied the satisfaction and art of a personal choice.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. No one decides if someone is beautiful, or worthy, or important… to you.
Everyone is beautiful and important to someone. Some people have a harder time finding that someone than others, but there is also art in patience.
The first mans rose, and the second mans rose will both wither and fade.
The first man will be confused, frustrated and bitter… having lost the precious popular beauty he sought.
The second man will relish the memory of his choice.
I’ve no pity, don’t know how thankful to feel. Expectations of my daily bread, gives me the hunger to steal. ~Demon Hunter
It is amazing that a person can get to the point, where they feel that the world has so betrayed them that they will steal and threaten and try to hurt other people, in order to get precious money they feel the deserve to replace the burning hole in their own heart.
What a sad and painful thought to try to understand the heart of a person that would be so hurt and feel so far from their goals that they must steal to get there in desperation.
When we were kids we all wanted to be astronauts Nascar drivers and firemen, or some great tall goal. Reality is a sadist, and by our own dislike of ourselves because of it, we all become in turn, masochistic.
If someone is born with a large goal to change the world around them or find any real acceptance in this world, they are destined for a life of self-hatred and dis-satisfaction, and disappointment, or else they steal and kill to in vain try to get there in their own insufficient power.
To an attempted robber I will never know… It seems there is a chance you know me. Know that I have no issues with you, I am praying for you, and I hope you find peace you are fighting for. I am not happy and I am lonely and dis-satisfied too bro, but please join me in searching for a better way.
I’ve no pity, don’t know how thankful to feel. Expectations of my daily bread, gives me the hunger to steal. ~Demon Hunter
It is amazing that a person can get to the point, where they feel that the world has so betrayed them that they will steal and threaten and try to hurt other people, in order to get precious money they feel the deserve to replace the burning hole in their own heart.
What a sad and painful thought to try to understand the heart of a person that would be so hurt and feel so far from their goals that they must steal to get there in desperation.
When we were kids we all wanted to be astronauts Nascar drivers and firemen, or some great tall goal. Reality is a sadist, and by our own dislike of ourselves because of it, we all become in turn, masochistic.
If someone is born with a large goal to change the world around them or find any real acceptance in this world, they are destined for a life of self-hatred and dis-satisfaction, and disappointment, or else they steal and kill to in vain try to get there in their own insufficient power.
To an attempted robber I will never know… It seems there is a chance you know me. Know that I have no issues with you, I am praying for you, and I hope you find peace you are fighting for. I am not happy and I am lonely and dis-satisfied too bro, but please join me in searching for a better way.
Sometimes I wonder why we all try so hard to be just like everyone else, to prove our individuality.
I wonder why we fight fire with fire, and lower ourselves to the yelling hurtful and angry levels of others, thinking that will make an argument go away or end with peace.
I wonder why we hop from relationship to relationship, and still found ourselves so sure every time the next one is the “one”, until it becomes boring.
I wonder why people smoke and drink and sleep with anything, to prove how hard they are.
I wonder why so many of the few guys who try so hard to love and protect, end up alone, while the womanizers get all the companionship they desire.
I wonder why children are disposable, accidents, and are so often pawned off and treated like lesser human beings, when they were meant to be our hope.
I wonder why the Mormans and Jehovas witnesses seem to have more outreach programs than Christians.
I wonder why some homeless people are happy, and so many rich men kill themselves.
…and I am simply amazed how many of these answers I can find in a 2000 year old book.
Sometimes I wonder why we all try so hard to be just like everyone else, to prove our individuality.
I wonder why we fight fire with fire, and lower ourselves to the yelling hurtful and angry levels of others, thinking that will make an argument go away or end with peace.
I wonder why we hop from relationship to relationship, and still found ourselves so sure every time the next one is the “one”, until it becomes boring.
I wonder why people smoke and drink and sleep with anything, to prove how hard they are.
I wonder why so many of the few guys who try so hard to love and protect, end up alone, while the womanizers get all the companionship they desire.
I wonder why children are disposable, accidents, and are so often pawned off and treated like lesser human beings, when they were meant to be our hope.
I wonder why the Mormans and Jehovas witnesses seem to have more outreach programs than Christians.
I wonder why some homeless people are happy, and so many rich men kill themselves.
…and I am simply amazed how many of these answers I can find in a 2000 year old book.
Why all this confusion and sobbing? The child is not dead. She is only sleeping.”
Bitterness is like a cancer. It eats us alive, it tears apart our soul. It makes our dreams impossible.
Can we say we love one person, and hate another? Can we be kind to on e person, and cold to another?
Can we argue so easily with one person, and bite our tongue with others we respect more?
Hypocritical is it not? Yet we seem to do it all the time.
I suppose at the end of the day, the only reason a person is not a hypocrite, is because they decide to become open about their own hypocrisy.
Perhaps…perhaps there are good people in the church… that are not dead… but only sleeping.
People waiting for someone that believes in them, to wake them up.
Perhaps the only thing that stands in our way sometimes, is the bitterness and hypocrisy in our own hearts, and the mask we run behind so we can pretend no one sees it.
Some people that are meant to be leaders, that hide in the background and blindly do whatever they are told.
Others that are meant to be warriors, on the front lines… that act like fools and run from responsibility.
Still others that hide from reality, letting their own past pain eat them alive in the present, instead of doing what they think everyone else should.
…Hypocrites …yeah… I think we all are.
Why all this confusion and sobbing? The child is not dead. She is only sleeping.”
Bitterness is like a cancer. It eats us alive, it tears apart our soul. It makes our dreams impossible.
Can we say we love one person, and hate another? Can we be kind to on e person, and cold to another?
Can we argue so easily with one person, and bite our tongue with others we respect more?
Hypocritical is it not? Yet we seem to do it all the time.
I suppose at the end of the day, the only reason a person is not a hypocrite, is because they decide to become open about their own hypocrisy.
Perhaps…perhaps there are good people in the church… that are not dead… but only sleeping.
People waiting for someone that believes in them, to wake them up.
Perhaps the only thing that stands in our way sometimes, is the bitterness and hypocrisy in our own hearts, and the mask we run behind so we can pretend no one sees it.
Some people that are meant to be leaders, that hide in the background and blindly do whatever they are told.
Others that are meant to be warriors, on the front lines… that act like fools and run from responsibility.
Still others that hide from reality, letting their own past pain eat them alive in the present, instead of doing what they think everyone else should.
…Hypocrites …yeah… I think we all are.
ZORK I: The Great Underground Empire Copyright (c) 1981, 1982, 1983 Infocom, Inc. All rights reserved. ZORK is a registered trademark of Infocom, Inc. Revision 88 / Serial number 840726
West of House You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door. There is a small mailbox here.
So I got a chance to play with Galatea by Emily Short, and was quickly reminded how much I love interactive fiction games. (Thanks to Viaken for pointing me to it!)
I decided to share with the class.
Interactive fiction games are like books or stories that you control. Think of them as text-based role playing games. They have lost popularity in recent years because people have flocked to games that do not require reading… and thinking. As a starter for those who want to dive in I present here the IF game that started it all. Zork.
Zork is a fantasy, a sci - fi, an adventure, a whatever you want it to be. This as the first real IF game and one of the best games of all time that I may spend the next year trying to complete. Source code has been released by infocom, and they have since disregarded copyrights, so I took the liberty of converting them into zblorb files playable in modern z-machine emulators.
Download -> zork1.blorb | zork2.zblorb | zork3.zblorb
The game that got me hooked on IF again is Galatea by Emily Short, which is a full representation of a work of art that is alive, that you can converse with and end up with one of dozens of endings depending on how you treat her/it.
Download ->Galatea.zblorb
For those of you who are not enslaved to Micro$oft (*nix/mac users) these can be played with nfrotz or gargoyle (a graphical player that runs on top of nfrotz) You can easily apt-get or emerge either of these in Linux.
For windows users…. you might try Windows Nfrotzwhich is a windows compile of nfrotz, however I have not tested it and do not plan to.
Enjoy.
~sellout
ZORK I: The Great Underground Empire Copyright (c) 1981, 1982, 1983 Infocom, Inc. All rights reserved. ZORK is a registered trademark of Infocom, Inc. Revision 88 / Serial number 840726
West of House You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door. There is a small mailbox here.
So I got a chance to play with Galatea by Emily Short, and was quickly reminded how much I love interactive fiction games. (Thanks to Viaken for pointing me to it!)
I decided to share with the class.
Interactive fiction games are like books or stories that you control. Think of them as text-based role playing games. They have lost popularity in recent years because people have flocked to games that do not require reading… and thinking. As a starter for those who want to dive in I present here the IF game that started it all. Zork.
Zork is a fantasy, a sci - fi, an adventure, a whatever you want it to be. This as the first real IF game and one of the best games of all time that I may spend the next year trying to complete. Source code has been released by infocom, and they have since disregarded copyrights, so I took the liberty of converting them into zblorb files playable in modern z-machine emulators.
Download -> zork1.blorb | zork2.zblorb | zork3.zblorb
The game that got me hooked on IF again is Galatea by Emily Short, which is a full representation of a work of art that is alive, that you can converse with and end up with one of dozens of endings depending on how you treat her/it.
Download ->Galatea.zblorb
For those of you who are not enslaved to Micro$oft (*nix/mac users) these can be played with nfrotz or gargoyle (a graphical player that runs on top of nfrotz) You can easily apt-get or emerge either of these in Linux.
For windows users…. you might try Windows Nfrotzwhich is a windows compile of nfrotz, however I have not tested it and do not plan to.
Enjoy.
~sellout
It was another church service. All the youth are gathering and hanging out at the front of the church sharing all the latest gossip… until their attention turned to the young black man across the street.
He was dirty wearing torn and worn clothing. He stood there silently staring ahead, cold and empty, just holding a cardboard sign reading “need help”.
Some scoffed, others laughed, still others just tried to pretend he was not there and continue their conversations. No one really seemed to care who he was or why he was there.
There he stood all the while looking ahead across the street, hoping just one person might come so much as say hello… and show him some of the love of Christ he knew of so well. Just one person to shed some light of hope on the church.
They all turned away and entered as service began, and the big wooden double doors of the chapel shut tight.
Service went on as usual for another half hour or so, everyone had probably forgotten about the man seconds after they sat down.
Everything was suddenly halted as the double doors in the back of the chapel opened once more.
It was the same dirty man from before standing there at the back of the church. He however now was dressed in a white shawl with a purple sash… with another cardboard sign.
It was dead silent as he walked into the church and walked up the aisle… and sat the sign down for anyone to see. He then again just as silently left.
The sign read :
“You have done it unto me”
…True story.
It was another church service. All the youth are gathering and hanging out at the front of the church sharing all the latest gossip… until their attention turned to the young black man across the street.
He was dirty wearing torn and worn clothing. He stood there silently staring ahead, cold and empty, just holding a cardboard sign reading “need help”.
Some scoffed, others laughed, still others just tried to pretend he was not there and continue their conversations. No one really seemed to care who he was or why he was there.
There he stood all the while looking ahead across the street, hoping just one person might come so much as say hello… and show him some of the love of Christ he knew of so well. Just one person to shed some light of hope on the church.
They all turned away and entered as service began, and the big wooden double doors of the chapel shut tight.
Service went on as usual for another half hour or so, everyone had probably forgotten about the man seconds after they sat down.
Everything was suddenly halted as the double doors in the back of the chapel opened once more.
It was the same dirty man from before standing there at the back of the church. He however now was dressed in a white shawl with a purple sash… with another cardboard sign.
It was dead silent as he walked into the church and walked up the aisle… and sat the sign down for anyone to see. He then again just as silently left.
The sign read :
“You have done it unto me”
…True story.
It’s like starving. It is like going to your pantry and realizing there is no food left. Sick of asking for help Spirit torn… thought, no longer felt.
It’s like starving. It is looking into their eyes knowing they are elsewhere. Alone in the crowd… Let me out, I swear its just a…
Superficial, supplemental… infatuation, or an imitation the source of my irritation. A fake smile and a hug here and there.
It’s like starving. Being on top of the world in one place, invisible in another. Unable to face ones self; Unable to be another.
Facing the terms, coming to a realization. There is no one to catch me, eventually, when…
I fall on my face. Will you pick me up? Will you tell me it is ok? No one there anyway. Suck it up, fake a smile. Time for another day.
It’s like starving.
It’s like starving. It is like going to your pantry and realizing there is no food left. Sick of asking for help Spirit torn… thought, no longer felt.
It’s like starving. It is looking into their eyes knowing they are elsewhere. Alone in the crowd… Let me out, I swear its just a…
Superficial, supplemental… infatuation, or an imitation the source of my irritation. A fake smile and a hug here and there.
It’s like starving. Being on top of the world in one place, invisible in another. Unable to face ones self; Unable to be another.
Facing the terms, coming to a realization. There is no one to catch me, eventually, when…
I fall on my face. Will you pick me up? Will you tell me it is ok? No one there anyway. Suck it up, fake a smile. Time for another day.
It’s like starving.
Christ? I like your Christ. Christians? I do not like your Christians, for they are so unlike your Christ.” ~Ghandi
Please read this with an open mind. IF you do not have an open mind, see point 1.
Also note “Christian” is defined by the majority of the population that use that word to describe themselves. 50 years ago the word gay meant happy because that was for the most part what it was used for. Now it means something else. 50 years ago Christian may of meant follower of Christ for the most part, but can we say that today?
The above and the following are partially biased, and subject to change, please submit your comments.
10 reasons Christians suck.
For those of you that that offends… Great! You should be. Think about why you are, look outside your bubble and see while that there are exceptions to the above… it is generally true of the majority.
Now consider 10 reasons Jesus was awesome.
How do you be a Christ Follower?
Sound like too much work? Count the cost. Be the real thing, or go have fun. It is all or nothing.
Jesus was a rebel.
Christ? I like your Christ. Christians? I do not like your Christians, for they are so unlike your Christ.” ~Ghandi
Please read this with an open mind. IF you do not have an open mind, see point 1.
Also note “Christian” is defined by the majority of the population that use that word to describe themselves. 50 years ago the word gay meant happy because that was for the most part what it was used for. Now it means something else. 50 years ago Christian may of meant follower of Christ for the most part, but can we say that today?
The above and the following are partially biased, and subject to change, please submit your comments.
10 reasons Christians suck.
For those of you that that offends… Great! You should be. Think about why you are, look outside your bubble and see while that there are exceptions to the above… it is generally true of the majority.
Now consider 10 reasons Jesus was awesome.
How do you be a Christ Follower?
Sound like too much work? Count the cost. Be the real thing, or go have fun. It is all or nothing.
Jesus was a rebel.